David Bowie: God of All That Is Cool

Little Wonder, then. Little Wonder. You Little Wonder, Little Wonder you...

Hallo Spaceboy... Hallo, everyone. I suppose it's onlt fair that I do this... DISCLAIMER: The coolness of the person to whom I've dedicated this page may be too much for some. I am not responsible for any side-effects caused by viewing this page. Discretion is advised. Thank you. Okay.. now that you've been warned, you may proceed into my little niche of Bowie-ness. I have divided this page into sections for ease of browsing. There is my Labyrinth Section, which gives a brief synopsis of the movie and has a link to a great Labyrinth site. MyLinguini Incident Section, which summarizes that movie as well and will have some .wav files I created free for your downloading enjoyment. MyEarthling Section, dedicated to His Coolness's newest album (which is where I got my nickname, LittleWonder). Here, you will find the track list and my own personal review. My1. Outside Section, which is pretty much the same as the Earthling section, and lastly, myThe Man Who Fell To Earth Section. Why lastly? You'll understand when you read it. :Þ
I hope you enjoy this page. I know it's pretty feeble, but it is ALWAYS under construction, so... come back again and there'll probably be something new. :) Oh, and if any of you out there happen to have a copy of "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence",or know how I could get one, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know by e-mailing me. It would be much appreciated! :)

Labyrinth

Ahh, Labyrinth. Where do I begin? It is truly a wonderous movie, made to stand the test of time... well, kinda. It really is a good movie, but I just don't think it really suits everyone's tastes. The Story: It begins with Sarah (Jennifer Connolly), a young girl who lives with her father and step-mother, her wicked step-mother, if you will. Much to her shagrin, she is told to babysit her little brother, Toby. Feeling burdened and mistreated, she wishes in passing that the Goblin King (played by David Bowie) would come and take the baby away. When her brother disappears and the Goblin King visits her, she regrets wishing that wish. Jareth, the Goblin King, tells her she must make her way through a labyrinth in 13 hours to save her brother. Fearing the consequenses if she declined, she sets out into the Labyrinth, where she meets a strange variety of creatures.The Question I Have:Okay, if you'll notice in the movie, Jareth seems to have a little "thing" for Sarah. What are they trying to teach us?! It IS a children's movie! Not to say Bowie's a pedophile, but... sheesh. Little Wonder's Rating: 10 overall. A classic. Reccomended:The Labyrinth Drinking Game

Linguini Incident

Though a bit obscure, this movie is actually quite entertaining. Maybe it's just because of all the cute Bowie scenes.. I dunno. If you like campy romanic-comedies, this movie is for you. The Plot: Monte (David Bowie) is an immigrant bartender at a posh restaurant who is desperately searching for marriage, not only for his green card, but to win a double-or-nothing bet with the restaurant's owners, Cecil and Dante. He sets his eyes on an aspiring escape artist named Lucy (Patricia Arquette), and tries to woo her over. Somewhat reluctantly, (and with the prodding of her friend Viv [Eszter Bailant]), she agrees to marry him, but when it falls through, Cecil and Dante choose to go to more extreme measures, resulting in another double-or-nothing bet. The Question: How in the world did they get the title? The term, "Linguini Incident" is not mentioned but once, and it's not even suggestive of the plot!! Plus, what happened to the guitar Monte had for that one brief seen? Little Wonder's Rating: 10 for Bowie cuteness, 7 for plot, and 4 1/2 for floating between genres. Coming soon-- The Linguini Incident Drinking game! By yours truly and her friend.

Earthling

Little Wonder, then. Little Wonder. You Little Wonder, Little Wonder you... Earthling is the newest CD in the Bowie anthology. It owes much to the wonderful world of Electronica. Included on Earthling are the following ( a "*" indicates a single has been released):

Little Wonder*, Looking for Satellites, Battle for Britain (the Letter), Seven Years in Tibet, Dead Man Walking, Telling Lies, The Last Thing You Should Do, I'm Afraid of Americans*, and Law (Earthlings on Fire). Little Wonder's Rating:A 9 and 1/2. Seems to be lacking something....

1. Outside

Earthling is great, but I'm afraid Outside is better. It is based upon the story (enclosed with the CD) of Detective Nathan Adler and his quest to solve the art-crime murder of Baby Grace Blue. Each track on this album is from the perspective of a character, 4 of whom have spoken tracks on the album (all voices are Bowie's, manipulated to sound like a young girl, a psyco droid woman, an elderly shopkeeper, and Det. Adler). Supposedly, it is the first (hence, the '1.' in front of the title) in a series of five CD's in a boxed set due out before New Years of 1999/2000. The tracks are:

Leon Takes Us Outside, Outside, the Hearts's Fithy Lesson*, A Small Plot of Land, Baby Grace Blue (A Horrid Cassette), Hallo Spaceboy*, The Motel, I Have Not Been to Oxford Town, No Control, The Voyeur of Utter Destruction (As Beauty), Ramona A. Stone/I Am With Name, Wishful Beginnings, We Prick You, I'm Deranged, Thru' These Architect's Eyes, Strangers When We Meet. Little Wonder's Rating:10. Definitely. I think mostly due to the incredible "Hallo Spaceboy".

The Man Who Fell To Earth

Okay... The reason I put this last is because it was horrible. Maybe I would've liked it, given I could understand it! The Plot: What? There WAS a plot? Hmm.. well, let's see.. okay, he drops to Earth.. gets dressed in a business suit and goes to a hotel... people have sex... he meets Candy Clark...more people have sex... Candy Clark discovers Tommy Newton (Bowie) is an alien and urinates on herself... THEY have sex... he gets captured and taken to some place with a ping pong table where he and Candy play full-contact ping pong... I'm sure there's sex involved somehow... people do experiments of him, and his home planet withers away. Hmm. I guess I was wrong! There IS a plot! The Question: Why was there so much sex?! What does having sex prove?! Oh, and does anybody know what was supposed to be going on? I've seen it twice and am still lost. Little Wonder's Rating:Well, judging it in little bits and pieces (since no one I know can seem to piece them together into anything that makes the slightest bit of sense), I give it.. a 3. And that's only because he's so waif-like and you just have to feel sorry for him.
Okay.. if there's anyhting you would like me to add, let me know by emailing me suggestions (You can find a link to email me at the top of this page). I know this isn't the most incredibly wonderful site, but.. I'm getting there. :)